Social media is something that is used everywhere. It is an outlet that has been spread everywhere throughout many years. Starting from myspace, social media has become something that almost everyone uses. . It is used either for posting pictures, updating your status, texting friends/family, posting on your story, or even all depending on the way you use it. Based on recent statistics on social media there are about 3.5 billion people who use social media worldwide. This is roughly about 45% of our population. Facebook which is one of the many social media sites is used all the time and it’s reported that 68% of adults who live in the U.S are Facebook users. Nevertheless, social media is not only used by adults. There are about 90.4% of millennials who go on social media actively 77.5% of generation x, and 48.2% of baby boomers. Baby boomers are considered to be people who were born around the years of 1946-1964, generation x is for people who were born between the years of 1965-1980 and millennials are people born in the years of 1981-1996. When it comes to how much people go on social media on average it is about 3 hours for the sites and messaging as well(Mohsin, 2020). Over time, however, social media has evolved. People are evolving in general. Though some of the same things are still being posted people have begun to bring things to social media that people should be aware of, for example, body image, mental health, sexual assault, police brutality, and many more. I believe all these things are great and should be brought to people’s attention. Even though all aspects are being brought to social media, there is also a downside to this. Your happiness. Some people who go on social media do not look into this at all. They probably don’t even know what might be going on with them until they take a good look into what might be happening to them. Of course, this may not apply to everyone, but it’s very likely that’s happening across all age groups. There are many different reasons why one might not be happy when they turn on their phone and log into their account. You wouldn’t know exactly what might be causing this, but just know that it is. It affects a lot of people everywhere.  However, does anyone know what exactly happiness is? No. Because the answer to this is very subjective. Happiness, as defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary is “a state of well-being and contentment” (Merriam-Webster. n.d.).This can vary for everyone. Not everyone experiences happiness in the same way.  Something that may be good for you might not be good for the next person. This relationship can also relate to social media because this can also differ for everyone. One person might feel joy or contentment when scrolling through the different social media sites while another person might feel depressed or unhappy when going through their feed. The essential question here is Does Social media negatively impact your happiness?

               As previously stated happiness does indeed come in different forms. Generally, when people feel happy they want to feel that way for a while. They would like the state of happiness or serotonin to be maintained. Although this isn’t necessarily possible all the time it is something that is wanted by many(C., 2012). During this study, the researchers dove into the book Exploring happiness by Aristotle. This book’s main focus is based on happiness which then also relates to one’s brain science as well. The author of this research article Sisella bok uses this book to go in more depth trying to get the answers to how happy somebody can be, what are some aspects that can make a person happy, and things that make people happy as much as they think they do. When measuring what makes a person happy they used two different definitions. One of the measurements they used to determine this was the satisfaction of life scale.  They used two methods for this which were the experience sampling method and the day reconstruction method. However,  using these two methods they found that it does not necessarily correspond to life satisfaction. To further explain, this essentially means that just because a person is satisfied that does not mean that they feel happy or pleasure and any type of contentment. Some people however do not even have the means to control how happy they are. Only about 40% of people do have control. This is something that is not necessarily new because some people do want to feel happy but are incapable of it. Many different factors could go into this like their own deep-rooted problems, depression, and many more indicators as well.  They also state that only about 50% of one’s happiness has to do with their genetics and that another 10%  mainly has to do with different circumstances. By different circumstances, this means wealth, goods, or materials. Some people depend on different things to keep them happy and do not have to do with how they feel. Although this article does state the different aspects of being happy several implications and limitations would have further pushed this discussion for example they only referred to one other text which makes it very limited and not very expansive. Another implication that happened in this article was that the one other tet they used was based on a literary figure. There could be people who aren’t as interested in Aristotle as others.  They could have used many other texts that catered to the whole audience.

         Now that we have discussed what happiness is in a general context, we now have to add different ages into the mix. By adding this in we can see if the different age factors depend on how happy a person can be. In this study, the authors claim that age has a positive association with a time perspective that then leads to their relationship with happiness as well. Time perspective is something that can be described as putting different life experiences and social experiences in different time frames. By doing this it causes people to really value their experiences and also organize them. As time goes on it’s proven that people change. In different life points, people can be experiencing different things in different periods therefore means are showing a lot of different emotions(Simons, M., Peeters, S., Janssens, M., Lataster, J., & Jacobs, N. (2016).  Different factors should also be included in this as well. Your perspective most likely will change as you get older too so you have to take that into account. When you are about 10 years old you may be happy if you got a really exciting toy you’ve been wanting for a long time now. If you were to jump the time frame and say that you are now 30 years old you might be really happy if you got an exciting job. In simpler words. Your priority changes and so do you. It could also mean the opposite as well. It’s even possible that you start to get much less happy as time goes on. You have fewer worries when you’re younger so it’s understandable.  In this study to measure their hypothesis, they use the dutch version of the subjective happiness scale. This is a 7 item scale so it starts from 1 “not a very happy person” to 7 beings “ I consider myself to be a very happy person”.  Based on the results from this the researchers concluded that it does support the idea that time perspective does have an association with someone’s happiness which then means that increasing age does have to do with happiness decreasing. Some implications of this were they could have used better data collection. They also should have looked into it more regarding older people because they might have been different circumstances that could affect the way the results turned out.

        We have now gone through the general basics of happiness and happiness throughout different age groups but what about social media? We need to take into account that social media can also affect different age groups in different ways too.  In this study, the authors have figured out that his relationship could be derived from two different things/aspects. In the first study, they use experiential products which is what they explain as electronic devices, travel, or even video games. This is then compared to material goods such as jewelry or any type of clothing that people would also use. By using two different sets of products they are then able to tell how it affects everyone differently and how it could change their mood. This could be different for everyone positively or negatively. By doing an experiment that involves social media platforms it could allow the facilitators to understand the consumer better(Berezan, Krishen, Agarwal, & Kachroo, 2018). A meta-analytic was conducted to review people’s age and how that can affect their happiness. For example, as you get older there is a chance that a positive effect could be decreased. However the younger you are the happier you become. They then add in social media and see how that could change someone. They have stated that it is more likely for a college-aged student to gain more socializations on social media platforms than older-aged people. They were all divided up into 3 sections, baby boomers, generation Y, and generation X. These 3 sections correlate to different year groups. Generation Y are people who could be aged around 24-39 years old, Generation x focuses on people who are 40-55, Baby boomers are aged around 56-74 years old. This was then split up to their gender, highest educational status, and employment status as well. After conducting the research they realized that one need that factors into the virtual experience is psychological need as well. The conductors also realized that the more you age does have a negative relationship with your happiness. For generation Y social media is more likely to help them through life and define them. Posting on social media helps them keep their identities stable which therefore keeps them in a good mental state. Generation X on the other hand is the opposite way. Because they are much older, they begin to become independent which makes them not feel the need to use social media to determine whether or not they are happy or not. Baby boomers have less social pressure but at the same time are not comfortable with the idea of social media platforms yet so it takes more knowledge that is not yet accessible. There were certain limitations of this research such as the many differences between the ages and different generations. It could have been hard to keep up with all of that especially since there were many. conductors interpreted the results as something that was limited because of the aging process and how the different experiences can limit what they can put in their study. The researchers also believe that they could have been more longitudinal research conducted that will overlay both the aging process and generational cohorts. They would have also liked to test theoretical models and dive more into direct relationships. Social networking sites are something that can be used temporarily to make some type of contentment but it does not necessarily last. In this study the authors consider this to be something called “ social snacking” (Clark, Algoe, & Green, 2017). This is something that can be more harmful than it is good. We don’t know what normally gets on when someone is done snacking on social media. Social snacking is defined as temporary fulfillment for someone’s social needs. This means that a person can go on social media a certain number of times and be okay with that but after is a different story. It doesn’t last. Sure, it might stay with you for a couple of minutes maybe even hours but eventually, it would go away. Lonely people tend to do this to try and feel something but most of the time it doesn’t usually work. There is no actual connection and it lacks personal interaction. The social comparison also comes into play with this as well. The more people compare themselves on social media the more insecure and unhappy they become. This results in much more negative outcomes in general. More people go on social networking sites for a long period and start to make assumptions that one’s life might be better than theirs which in reality they don’t know what other people’s lives are. However, this does not matter because the comparison is the only thing that they see and know. Some further research could have been done here as well regarding including more people individually to get other perspectives and focus more on behaviors and more favorable/ damaging outcomes. In another study, they research whether or not social media usage affects efficiency and well-being.Researchers study the use of social media by giving people tasks and based on that they try to determine if it would lower or increase the performance of the task. Based on the results of that researchers will still be able to find if it would also lower happiness as well. They concluded that social media can be destructive to a person (Brooks, S. (2015). There are a lot of consequences of using social media so much. It can break you without you even knowing it sometimes. It was also found that going on social media lowered task performance and efficiency. They were not able to do things that they should normally be able to do because their focus is just on social media.

            In another study, they examined various effects on social media platforms and also examined the relationships between social media and happiness as well (Chae, 2018).In this experiment, they used Korean Women between the ages of 20-39 women who used smartphones. They did this because Young women that had smartphones went on social media more. The reason why they only use women was that they concluded that men did not use social media platforms as much as women did. Emails were sent to 7,625 women however only 2,335 of those 7,265 women opened the email.  There was then a wave 1 survey where 1064 completed it and Wave 2 was sent a month later and 782 completed that one. The rate for completion was 14% and the attrition rate was about 27%. Twitter was one of the social media platforms that were negatively associated with a social comparison where on the other hand LinkedIn, Instagram, and blogs were positively associated. Based on the findings of this experiment and research they realized that different social media functions work differently. Since they do function differently they are most likely to affect people differently so not everyone would feel the same compared to others. Some limitations affected the study such as single item measures such as the mediator and two of the 3 dependent variables. Another limitation was the fact that there was no differentiation between active/passive or downward or upward use of social media comparison. They believe that future studies should dive more into the relationship between social media and happiness with more theoretical evidence and much more refined measures as well. Another study was conducted in which children who were around the ages of 10-15 were included in a longitudinal study to see if there was an association between the use of the children on social media and their characteristics (Twigg, L., Twigg, L., Duncan, C., & Weich, S. (2020). They ultimately found that increasing use of social media did show a change in the children’s happiness. However, this did not mean that they had a negative association with life satisfaction. In this particular research, girls were found to be less happy with more time on social media, but the fact they go on social media does not change their view on life satisfaction.

                   Overall social media does affect happiness. The social comparison was one of the reasons why people were not as happy when on different social media websites. Especially going on there for a long amount of time your mindset starts to change as well. It was also learned that as you grow older social media starts to affect your happiness as well. There is a huge effect on your mood and behavior. This is a topic that should be discussed more often because your mental health depends on it. It could even worsen if not talked about. By people knowing about this topic it could change people’s perspective on social media and what it is doing to them. Future research needs to be redirected towards different theories, maybe even different models from different people. If the study was more correct and more longitudinal towards a longer amount of time then results are bound to change as well. 

                                                      REFERENCE PAGE

 Clark, J. L., Algoe, S. B., & Green, M. C. (2017). Social Network Sites and Well-Being: The Role of Social Connection. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 27(1), 32-37. doi:10.1177/0963721417730833

Brooks, S. (2015). Does personal social media usage affect efficiency and well-being? Computers in Human Behavior, 46, 26-37. doi:10.1016/j.chb.2014.12.053

Twigg, L., Twigg, L., Duncan, C., & Weich, S. (2020). Is social media use associated with children’s well-being? Results from the UK Household Longitudinal Study. Journal of Adolescence, 80, 73-83. doi:10.1016/j.adolescence.2020.02.002   

Simons, M., Peeters, S., Janssens, M., Lataster, J., & Jacobs, N. (2016). Does Age Make a Difference? Age as Moderator in the Association Between Time Perspective and Happiness. Journal of Happiness Studies, 19(1), 57-67. doi:10.1007/s10902-016-9806-

C., M. A. (2012). A Scientific exploration of happiness: A review of the science in Exploring happiness: From Aristotle to brain science. International Journal of Wellbeing, 2(3), 288-291. doi:10.5502/.v2.i3.10 

Chae, J. (2018). Reexamining the relationship between social media and happiness: The effects of various social media platforms on reconceptualized happiness. Telematics and Informatics, 35(6), 1656-1664. doi:10.1016/j.tele.2018.04.011

Berezan, O., Krishen, A. S., Agarwal, S., & Kachroo, P. (2018). The pursuit of virtual happiness: Exploring the social media experience across generations. Journal of Business Research, 89, 455-461. doi:10.1016/j.jbusres.2017.11.038

Mohsin, M. (2020, December 03). 10 Social Media Statistics You Need to Know in 2021 [Infographic]. Retrieved December 07, 2020, from 10 Social Media Statistics You Need to Know in 2021 [Infographic]

Merriam-Webster. (n.d.). Happiness. In Merriam-Webster.com dictionary. Retrieved December 7, 2020, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/happiness

Before  the texts that we read in class my view on writing was pretty broad and generalized. I personally am not much of a writer mainly because I felt like there were too many things that went into and it required much more work than necessary but these texts helped me widen  my perspective on this. For example one reason I didn’t feel like writing was for me was because it was so formal.When ever I wrote I felt like I needed to write as professional as I could and use complex words that I didn’t even know the definition of. However I was wrong and in the text “ They say, I say” chapter 9 they emphasize this greatly. They talk about how you don’t have to set aside your voice to make a writing piece “good”. This was something I was so used to doing mainly because that’s what I was taught and because I felt like no one would take me seriously if I didn’t do so.Not only did the texts change my perspective on writing but also on reading too. In William Zinessers “ On writing well” his book mainly focuses on what goes through a writer’s mind when in the process of writing something for the audience. Based on what he wrote I realized how much the writer has to actually think about when they write and how it might be perceived to the audience. That saying as a reader it made me notice the little details when reading and maybe why/how they might have added a certain thing into their writing.

Chae, J. (2018, April 22). Reexamining the relationship between social media and happiness: The effects of various social media platforms on reconceptualized happiness. Retrieved September 07, 2020, from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0736585318300066 

Introduction:

Social media is something that is particularly popular nowadays. Everyone uses it and because of this some questions arise about what it actually does to our well being. A critical review was conducted by Verduyn et.al 2017  that investigated more into the relationship between the two days. Subjective well being is what was being noted in this research. Subjective well being is equivalent to your happiness and the quality of your life as well. The authors did in fact conclude that social media takes a toll on one’s happiness.It is more likely that one can become less happy the more they are on social media. There was also another study conducted that goes against the first. Veenhoven (1991) believes that there may not be a direct relationship between social media and happiness. It is possible that there may in fact not go hand in hand at all. This study recognizes that the different factors that might contribute to happiness are psychological or biological needs. The overall goal of this experiment is to investigate  how the use of different social media platforms is associated with social comparison and how social comparison relates to happiness.

Method: In this experiment they used Korean Women between the ages of 20-39 women who used smartphones. They did this because Young women that had smartphones went on social media more. The reason why they only use women was because they concluded that men did not use social media platforms as much as women did. Emails were sent to 7,625 women however only 2,335 of those 7,265 women actually opened the email.  There was then a wave 1 survey where 1064 completed it and Wave 2 was sent a month later and 782 completed that one. The rate for completion was 14% and the attrition rate was about 27%.

Results:

There were 2 models included in the results of this investigation. Model 1 had to do with relative happiness and overall happiness. Model 2 was relative happiness and life satisfaction. It came to a conclusion that based on model 1 social comparison behavior negatively predicted relative happiness. In model 2 social comparison was not associated with overall happiness. Also model 2 social comparison was not associated with life satisfaction. Social comparison at model 1 wss negatively associated with relative happiness.

Discussion: Twitter was one of the social media platforms that was negatively associated with social comparison where on the other hand linkedin, instagram, and blogs were positively associated. Based on the findings of this experiment and research they realized that different social media functions work differently. Since they do function differently they are most likely to affect people differently so not everyone would feel the same compared to others. There were also some limitations that affected the study such as single item measures such as the mediator and two of the 3 dependent variables. Another limitation was the fact that there was no differentiation between active/passive or downward or upward use of social media comparison. They believe that future studies should dive more into the relationship between social media and happiness with more theoretical evidence and much more refined measures as well.

  Happiness is something that can be defined as a state of showing contentment or Joy. One can feel happy by doing a variety of things. For example; hanging out with friends, eating new foods, watching new movies, shopping, traveling and many more. It’s easy to convince yourself that you’re happy when doing these activities but what about when you’re on social media? The question in hand is whether or not social media increases your happiness or in fact just makes you dissatisfied.

                    Many people assume that people are happy when  they post on social media or when they see other  types of posts. This is mainly because when people post on social media you see something completely different from what they actually are in real life.It isn’t possible for you to see every face behind a screen and know what people feel when they go online. It is understandable to think that everyone is happy on social media though. However it is important to know that this is all a part of a bigger picture.. Not everything is what it seems like on the internet.Everyone is different so you wouldn’t exactly know how people feel when they go on different social networking sites. Such as Twitter, instagram, facebook,or even snapchat. There could be different facades of different people everywhere and you wouldn’t even know.   ArgumentSocial media and Happiness does go hand in had with one another and has a positive association 

                        Chae acknowledges that social comparison has a direct relationship with social networking sites.  This then leads to a decrease of happiness. Time spent on social media leaves a lot of room for you to compare yourself to their posts or various different posts that you see. This can happen in many different ways. You might see someone on instagram or facebook and think to yourself  “I want to look like that” or “ I want my life to be like hers/his”. This overall can be deemed as something general  or a way to overlook that there are a lot of different aspects that contribute to one’s happiness. According to Chae, “Comparison with similar posts can be made with just one click, and because of the asynchronous nature of  online conversation, people have more time to present the self in more ideal ways than reality would dictate (Verduyn et al..,2017)” In other words, Chae believes that it is easy to compare yourself online. Mainly because people put up different fronts on social media.I personally have always believed that social media  reflected on how someone might act in person.After learning more and  growing up I now know that not everything is the same as what I see.People online  can live differently than what is their actual reality. This also adds on to happiness and how greatly it could be affected. Chase’s  theory of social comparison is extremely useful, because it sheds insight on the difficult problem of how the use of different social media sights can have a negative impact on one’s loneliness which then has a positive association with a person’s happiness. 

                      In recent discussions of social comparison due to social media and happiness, a controversial issue has been whether  there is actually a direct relationship between the two. On the one hand, some argue that it does have a negative association. On the other hand, however, others argue that there is not much of a relationship connecting the two factors. Veenhoven insists, “ happiness does not completely depend on social comparison. Standards of social comparison are changeable but happiness is also determined by the gratification of biological and psychological needs, which are not related to social comparison.” In making this comment, Veenhoven urges us to evaluate the other components that can also go to someone’s happiness and how it could affect them as well. He is trying to emphasize the fact there can be different reasons to why one might not be happy. Veenhoven believes that social comparison has nothing to do with it, instead how someone might think or their biological needs have more of an effect.Although I believe that he is right, it does not necessarily follow that social comparison has no association. It is possible that happiness can depend on biological and psychological needs while also including social comparison as well. Recent studies like these shed new light on happiness, which previous studies had not  addressed. Ultimately, what is at stake here is that it could go on to be more serious than what we see now. It can relate back to a larger mental health issue and can have a damaging effect on someone’s mindset or even behavioral issues. By continuing to see different things on social media continuously teenagers for example might go to drastic extremes to change themselves to fit into what they see on social media which could be self harming.

                Conventional Wisdom claims that age factors should be included when it comes to social media and the experience. There have not been many reports about how different ages and different generations could be affected.We know that social media can affect people in different ways regarding their happiness but this should come into the discussion as well. You would think that this happens to everyone the same way but this is simply not true. For example, it is knowledgeable that young people go on social media a lot  more because of the fact that we grew up on the idea of it.Older people however may not feel the same way because of the time period where they grew up and the difference in interaction that was used back then. As you can see from this it shows how the experience could be different drastically. Mogilner, Kamvar,& Aaker argue that as people grow up their perception of happiness tends to change and evolve. This means that their definitions of what it means to happiness might not be the same anymore. Or the fact that older people might experience happiness in a different way than a young person might. According to  Mogilner, Kamvar,& Aaker, “As people age and traverse through different life stages, not only does their definition of happiness itself shift but also their view of their lifespan, also known as the future perspective” and also Pinquart insists, “  Differences in the meaning of happiness stem from several types of arousal; whereas happiness for young people can result from high states of arousal such as excite-ment, older people can achieve happiness from low states of arousal such as peacefulness.” The essence of Strought’s , Mogilner, Kambar & Aaker  thought is that social media can be responded to in different ways. Someone’s perspective on what happiness means to them is bound to change over time. It is not always going to stay the same forever. As you grow up you will eventually mature and see life a different way than you used to.  When I was younger, I always believed that happiness was what I felt a certain exact point in life or me just laughing. Obviously now my  definition of that has changed. Happiness for me is being content in whatever I do. I agree with this point because it is something that needs emphasizing since so many people believe that what we believe at a time will stay the same. Yet some readers may challenge my view by insisting that our views do in fact stay the same. Although I grant that we change our perspectives as time goes on,  I still maintain that there are some people who stick with the same one. There are many different outcomes that may come from this. Depending on the person one might change their view or they might just stay with the same one that they have. An example of this is shown by Berezan, Krishen, Argwal and Kachroo, “No single definition exists for the term happiness, and every in-dividual has their own perspective of what makes them happy. When Asked to describe what makes them happy, people respond with vastly different answers, from sunshine to dancing, health to wealth, and successful children to a long-term love relationship.” In other words, this means that their experiences can vary.  But who really cares? Who besides me and a handful of recent researches has a stake in these clams? At the very least the researchers who formerly believed the differences in generations may not have a direct affect on social media should care. If we are right about this theory, then major consequences follow for this.(So what) It is possible that people will grow up thinking that they’re experience on social media might have nothing to do with their happiness. Speaking long term, people might even continue to view this as something that has no direct association with social networking sites. There will continue to be a destruction to people who go on social media regularly  and might even change the way one might act. Therefore it is very important to take this seriously because your mental health depends on it. It is key to understand the different repercussions that might occur from this. It could lead to a larger issue that might even change your psychological well being.

            Social media does in fact have an association with someone’s happiness. As discussed previously it could be because of what people see when they post, or because of the different ages that have interaction with social media as well. There are different endresults with either one.

   I came to New York city from Togo when  I was about 3 years old. My dad had already been here for about a year before me and my mom came and  joined him. In that sense we were both new here so we experienced everything  together. When we first came everything was just so out of my way, different from what I was originally used to. Even from a young age I could tell. When we first came  we lived in an apartment that had many floors, too many to even count. However it wasn’t just me, my mom and dad that lived there. My uncle had been living there with my dad too and soon his family were going to come from Togo as well. So that meant that 2 families would be living in a small cramped apartment with one bathroom, and 1 bedroom. I didn’t really think about the situation at hand at first because I was only 3. What more would I have to say about that?  As time went on I realized that there was a pattern. When my uncle moved out the same year with his family a new family that we knew would come and live with us too. That stopped until I was 5 and we moved to the apartment that we live in currently. From time to time some distant relatives would come to New York and stay with us for months maybe even a year if needed to find their way around New York. They all ended up eventually leaving of course. Now that I am older I understand what New York really meant to them. It meant a new life for them and more opportunities and my family you could say was almost like a beacon to that.They dreamed about coming here as if nothing else could satisfy their needs if they didn’t come here. It had to be New York. Just like how Joan Didion said, “New York was no mere city, It was instead an infinitely romantic notation, the mysterious nexus of all love and money and power….”(231). It always felt like they romanticized New York and the idea of what it meant to actually live here. They would soon learn that it’s not what it seems. One of my uncles that came  to stay here before came for about 6 months before he started getting money and moved out. Everytime he came to visit he would often complain about how expensive everything was and how he wanted to move to a different state which he did. Same thing for my cousin when he came here. New York became too much for him and he ended up moving to Colorado where things were more calm for him. It almost felt like it was broken promises and broken expectations back to back.

                         For all my life I’ve basically lived in the bronx. I went to middle school in the Bronx as well. The only time I didn’t was when I started highschool. Everything felt different to me. Yes, it was in New York but it still felt like it was somewhat divided because  there were some people that lived in Manhattan or maybe even Brooklyn and Queens  have different  negative preconceptions about the Bronx and how it is to live here. So when I went to a school that wasn’t located in the Bronx I felt like everything was about to change, and I was right. When I Was middle school I had classes with people that lived in my building, across the street from the building or just in the same neighborhood. Everyone knew everyone. The kids that lived in the same building with me I ended up calling my “cousins” because of how close we were. We were not related in any single way  but the bond was stronger than that. They felt more like a family than classmates and almost everyone felt the same way. There was a clear difference between the 2 different environments. For example, the people here knew how to pronounce my name without any trouble. Granted it was because they also had ethnic names as well. However over there it took a bit more time for them to get it. It’s no problem cause I realize that not everyone comes across names like mine so it was understandable. Going to the two different schools also gave me a new perspective on what I wanted to do with my life. When I Was in middle school I had this idea in my head that my life would always be  here in New York and there was no other place for me  that I  would want to live in. I never really thought about college either. I knew I would go one day but I never gave too much thought into it. Once I became a freshman in Highschool  they would introduce us to college panels, I would just sit there and hear people that were already in their junior or senior year of college and how they’ve traveled doing study abroad in different countries or even visited different states, overall just talked about the freedom they had even if they didn’t leave New York entirely and my mind started to wander. Senior came up and I brought up the idea  of going somewhere else to study for college to my parents. Originally I had my mind set on the fact that I would go to a school upstate or just somewhere away from here, I even applied to a school that was located in Kansas just for the fun of it. New York just was not doing it for me any more. I wanted to be my own person and do my own thing on my own time without being here. I wanted to have some time away from New York because it felt like every place I was at was  just stuffed and cramped with so many people, so many of the same people  just like the first apartment I lived in. Obviously the plan did not work as I am still here  because sometimes plans just don’t. I feel like one of the reasons it didn’t workout  the way I wanted it to was because I came from an African family and like any other foreign parents, mine  always expect the best from their children so they would want me to stay here and let that happen while they were all here as well ; however I feel that they’ve always pushed that mentality towards me and only me, perhaps because I am the oldest and the first one to go to college. I never really asked   for more after coming to that realization. Some things are just left better unsaid.Sometimes our starting intentions can fall through and you have to rework the plan you had already originally thought of. Just like how Meghan Daum’s ideas/plans fell through mine did too. In her essay she told her audience, “ Had I known that before. I might have skipped out on this New York Thing altogether and spared myself the financial and Psychological ordeal”. Her intentions were to have  her dream life in New York but instead she just ended up in a world filled with debt. Unlike her and Didion I do not think I ever fantasized about New York like they did. This might have been because I already live here and I didnt have a choice but to come here. However now that I’ve lived here for a while  just don’t get why everyone else wants to either. When you go on Youtube or maybe even Tik Tok you’ll see new videos with people packing up their bags and just going to New York. When they explain why they say it’s because “I’ve always wanted to live here and I love everything about the  big city” Most of the time it’s the aesthetic they like.Like what the Show Gossip girl makes New York out to be. They show a character that lives in Brooklyn in a loft with about 3 bedrooms and can afford to go to  public school and call him “poor”, in contrast to a student who lives on the upper east side in a huge penthouse with built in elevators, waiters, chefs, butlers, and personal drivers. They make so many unrealistic expectations of what life is like in New York that they forget to show the rest of it too sometimes. If anything, I would not say that I regret living here for any reason. There are obviously times where I’ve wanted to move badly but there are many people who feel that way too and it’s okay. I believe that New York has changed me for the better though. I don’t think I would be the same person I am today if I didn’t live here. The fact that New York is such a diverse place has a great effect on people and the way that they are with other people. There are so many different types of people here that you wouldn’t really see in too many places. No matter the race, sexual orientation, sex there is one of everything. It’s almost similar to what Zadie smith said in her essay. She mentioned how every human is different here which makes New York the place it is really.  There are things that just New Yorkers would understand that some one from probably Wisconsin would have trouble comprehending. For example going to the deli across the street to get yourself a quick snack at like 10 or 11pm. Or even ordering yourself a baconeggandcheese  and saying it just like that no breaks in between, train delays when you’re trying to get to school or work, crack heads surrounding buildings and inside the train stations. These are things that only New Yorkers would understand. I don’t think any other place is the same as ours which makes it so different. Of course there are times which I have experienced that made me want to leave immediately, like the time I was on the 4 train with my friend on our way back from school, there was a lady arguing with another lady but it felt like the argument was one sided. I could distinctly remember telling her that “ You should go back to your country” because she was speaking her language and the one receiving the backlash stayed quiet. I remember she was speaking twi so I knew she was Ghanian. As soon as she said that she turned around  looked at me and told me “ The same goes for you”. I didn’t think too much of it because I know that the woman was probably not in her right state of mind. I didnt let it affect me too much because it’s normal and there’s hatred everywhere so there was no reason why this experience  should be any different.  Overall I feel as though I’ve grown as a person. I’ve become more open  minded towards certain things and New York was the one that opened my eyes to this. I’ve learned to become less naive than I was when I  was younger and learned to become more thoughtful when it came to certain things and not just rush to a conclusion about anything or any one when there is clearly more to any story really. I want to be able to emphasize the fact that although I had a different experience in New York this is not the same for everybody. Everyone has their own lives here and clearly not everyone would go through the same things that I went through. New York could be the best places you go to or it could be the worst. If you’re lucky it might be in between just like it was for me.